The Jo(h)ns: A Play In One Act

Jon Stewart: "So remember how in the last 8 years you have turned into a pandering Republican robot? That blows"

John McCain: " I'm still the same ol' maverick I used to be, now I just accept endorsements from "agents of intolerance" and I no longer champion the issues that earned me that label in the first place (banning torture, campaign finance reform, immigration policy, etc...). I still don't know anything about the economy, just like in the old days, if that makes you feel any better"

Jon Stewart: "Once I was in Half Baked if that makes you feel any better"

And Thats The Word

You heard it here first (or second depending on if you read the New York Times obsessively while you are bored at your job).

J-tron just gave a rousing speach in Pittsburgh, PA in which he promised to make the Bush tax cuts (which he, ah um, voted against) permanent and do all sorts of other bad shit to the economy.

Now, even economic novices like your dedicated bloggers at JMCR will tell you that if ol' J wants to be in Iraq for the next 100 years, he's gonna need some money and it would be nice if that money didn't come from China (who really cares about monks anyway?)

I know we've said it before, but I feel compelled to repeat this: If your Democrat of choice does not win the nomination please don't vote for J-tron. There is no such thing as a "McCain Democrat", they are just called assholes.

¿Flip-Flopping?

"Senator John McCain, who drew criticism last month after he warned against broad government action to solve the deepening mortgage crisis, pivoted Thursday and called for the government to help qualified homeowners with subprime mortgages refinance and get federally guaranteed 30-year mortgages."

I am reminded of the age-old adage: "Republicans can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it"

Bad News Bear (Stearns)

On the Iraq war, Mr. McCain took a long, if not limitless, view: “Could be 1,000. Could be 1,000 years or a million years.” At another point, he said: “A thousand years. A million years. Ten million years.”

As long as it takes to completely destroy an economy, demolish infrastructure, remain astonishingly ignorant about Middle Eastern culture and Islam, and mismanage the trillions of dollars we are spending to do so at the the expense of acheiving universal healthcare, daycare, and equal rights for all.

I guess its a relief that he will be around that long to oversee these efforts, assuming his maintenance schedules remain consistent.

Its the economy/he's a robot, stupid

Now, normally Paul Krugman is a little too supportive of you-know-who (see below), for our taste, but we would be remiss in our duty if we didn't highlight his column in the NYTimes today.

"In truth, I don’t expect much from John McCain, who has both admitted not knowing much about economics and denied having ever said that. Anyway, lately he’s been busy demonstrating that he doesn’t know much about the Middle East, either. "

Its not like the economy and the Middle East are important issues that will effect everybody or anything....

The R-word

At JMCR, our goal is to provide our readership with the most up to date information about John and his closeted robosexuality. That doesn't mean we can't throw in other tidbits about how our country is going down the drain faster than you can say C-3PO...

Slate notes in an article about how no one in Washington will say the dirty R-word that,

"For a president, it is political poison to admit that an economic event that rhymes with shmashmession could be within the realm of possibility."

Who knew that a movie about a bunch of Jews who smoke too much pot would be so prescient ?