Monkeys implanted with special sensors in their brains have learned to control mechanical objects. (seriously, this article is like a manna from heaven for this blog).
Now everything makes sense. It's not McCain, it's the monkeys who want to continue the never ending war in Iraq, retain the Bush tax cuts, and overturn Roe v. Wade.
But the real question here is why?:
Fire man, fire!
(P.S. I know orangutans are apes, not monkeys, but I am taking the liberty to assume that both groups have similar agendas)