Cindybot Thinks Wants Us To Think She's Just Like Us

Remeber that scene in Witches when Anjelica Huston and co. peel off their faces and reveal their witchy dispositions? Now picture Cindy on the eve of election day.

B.W.

JMCR just got its hands on some exclusive photos of C-3PO B.W. (Before the Work). A big JMCR shoutout to loyal reader Elise (and her work colleague Brandon)! Keep on sending those tips...

Cindy B.W:

And Cindy A.W. (in the year of our plastic surgeon):

Not a total Betty, but a vast improvement.

Ice Ice Baby

Of all the fun things for sale on John McCain's website, I've found the item that I will be purchasing this election season.

Introducing the McCain ice scraper.
















For when your Republican heart just won't thaw after visiting small-town USA or seeing pictures of orphans in Darfur or learning about the devastation in Iraq or learning that welfare caseloads have increased for the first time in the past decade.

Also useful for crushing the pills that fuel your substance abuse problem.

Practice What You Preach

Perhaps this column is proof that the NYT's Frank Rich reads JMCR.

Rich wrote a nice follow-up to our story, but he missed the part where the McCain-machine used the blood of the whores that Hagee denounced as fuel and Cindy McCain snorted the ashes of a decimated abortion clinic.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Remember the good ol' days when being a straight-talking maverick meant calling your wife the "c" word?

Well the saga continues in what I like to call "cuntgate".

When J-tron is asked a question about the whole fiasco, amid a bunch of prudes who scorn our dear inquisitor, he discards the question BUT he does not deny its veracity.



A more simple response would have been "pimpin' ain't easy".

Four:Twenty

John McCain wants to align with the uber-conservatives but he doesn't smoke pot.

You wouldn't think that to be a problem but little did you know that deceased neo-con champion William F. Buckley Jr. liked to get down with ganja and sail his yacht into international waters so he could smoke pot without breaking the law.

That fact and more brought to you by the Chicago Tribune and specially transplanted here for this blog's "hippie-fuck" base.



Maybe McCain-ical should chill and have Cindy roll him a blunt.

We Beat The New York Times!

That's right, we broke a story before the Times did. We may have not been first, but this is a small victory for JMCR.

JMCR favorite Elisabeth Bumiller (she actually got the buildup to Iraq right) tells the tale of what she calls "Farfallegate".

We won't go into the details of the recipe mishandling (read that here), but when in doubt always blame the interns:

By midmorning, the McCain campaign had taken all seven recipes off the Web site and was pointing a finger at an intern who, tasked several months ago with contacting Mrs. McCain’s staff for favorite McCain recipes, had prowled the Internet instead.

“The intern has been dealt with,” said Tucker Bounds, a campaign spokesman, who declined to provide details. Nonetheless, Mr. Bounds said, “we took away his zero pay.”

Thou Shall Not Steal

Remember that BBQ McCain threw for journalists, touting his own recipe for ribs?

And remember when Cindy made that delicious Ahi Tuna with Napa Cabbage Slaw, and Farafalle Pasta with Turkey Sausage, Peas and Mushrooms, and Passion Fruit Mousse for dessert? No?! Well that's because she didn't, but according to Cindy's section of JohnMcCain.com (we're not linking it because no one should ever go there) these are "McCain Family Recipes". False.

These recipes have actually been lifted from the Food Network as the Huffington Post reported yesterday.

So Cindy can't cook. That's no surprise. She doesn't look like she eats much and painkillers tend to curb your appetite, but lying about family recipes is just plain wrong.

First Keating 5, then Iseman, now Recipe-gate.

This Just In...Cindy McCain is also an android

The first little gem is courtesy of Meghan McCain's blog: www.myparentsarerobots.com