J-Tron: Carefree Baby Killer?

The US Agency for International Development under the stewardship of President Bush and with the support of the robot-that-would-be-president continued their policy of cutting off funds for birth control, condoms, and IUDs for the world's poorest women in Africa.

Huurah!, a victory for pro-lifers everywhere. I'm sure they can rejoice in the estimated 157,000 additional unwanted pregnancies per year, leading to 62,000 additional abortions and 660 women dying in childbirth. Someone start blowing up balloons.

So what does J-tron have to say about it? When questioned last spring about whether or not the US should fund contraceptives to help combat AIDS in Africa he stumbled, "I haven’t thought about it,” and later added, “You’ve stumped me.”

Hopefully someday all women will get charged for their rape kits after they've been attacked, until then we'll just have to make due with abstinence-only education, a rising teen pregnancy (and STD rate) in the US, and contributing to the deaths of thousands of African women and children.

Good work everybody.

The Problems With Pigs and Lipsticks

America's economic, energy, and national security woes are no match for subpar animal metaphors. Or for that matter a Tina Fey/Karen Walker combo of a governor from the least populated state in the union that was only created to act as a buffer between Russia and North America during the heady days of the Cold War. Did I mention that listening to her voice makes me long for the days of Hillary's tired and strained warble?

Governor Palin has referred to herself as both a barracuda and a pitbull (but its ok cause she wears lipstick), but the Palin campaign (oh right, I mean McCain campaign, oops) is now up in arms over a third animal analogy made by Senator Obama. 

The happy go lucky 24 hour news cycles were quick to seize on this perceived gaffe. Obama is a sexist pig for calling her a pig. Well I say McCain is a sexist pig for being a coward and not selecting pro-choice droopy dog wonder Lieberman for his running mate, choosing Sarah "my family can make private choices but others can't" Palin, and acquiescing to the agents of intolerance that control his party. 

Anyway, someone should tell Sarah that lipstick is so passe. Its all about stains and glosses. Women's rights, ya'll....

He Ol'

Even Wonkette agrees: "The only person alive to see this nightmare scenario [robots fighting the war in Iraq over the next 100 years] will be John McCain himself, who will live to the age of 1 million before his circuit board craps out."